I sat up as The Lord began speaking to me. He commands my attention with yet just a whisper and a firm peacefulness that the world can never hope to give.
“Speak with confidence, as you know I will Hear you and I will Answer you. You are my Favoured Child. Once you come to Me and align yourself with My Will, there is nothing I won’t Do for you. So Come.” – Abba
As Abba had finished speaking to me, He reminded me of a verse from Hebrews.
16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” – Hebrews 4 v 16 (ESV)
Let me point out, that while I have read The Book of Hebrews, I have the memory of a ladybug (I like ladybugs, they are entrancing). So it stood out to me right away, the fact that the scripture, after I went looking, used the same strong language in the form of the word “confidence”. Another translation uses the word “boldly”.
16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” (KJV)
While still strong language, it doesn’t exactly convey the same meaning. One can be bold yet not confident in what they are doing or asking. Confidence by virtue of definition, begets Trust. Trust is developed over time, often through constant and reliable interaction whether in person or otherwise. A bond is formed. You KNOW you can Depend on the one whom you have placed your Trust in. The one whom you’ve developed Confidence in.
I have been seeking, believing, and praying, and waiting on God. What I realize now though is that i haven’t been Trusting. My confidence in Who He is has been waning. Simply because I’ve been so focused on the how’s and what’s and what if’s of what I’ve been asking Him to do. Never mind that God is the one that put the desire for these things in my spirit in the first place, and that He gave me the very words to pray. Even with all that, and being as aligned as a row of match sticks jammed in a tiny box, I still had No CONFIDENCE!
How do I know God put these desires in my heart and spirit? Simple, they scare the crap out of me and they are things I never… ever dreamed of for myself nor even thought them to be remotely possible. So maybe I secretly don’t want them to happen and since God knows the hearts of men, He’s withholding until I’m fully aligned? The thing is though, God doesn’t have to work too hard once He’s gotten our attention. So if He’s already brought me over to His side and shown and revealed unsearchable things, convinced me that He has a plan and a future for me and transformed and renewed my mind by making me into a new creation, I’m basically 80-95% aligned with His will by default. The other 3% is my submission and the remaining 2% that often goes un-calculated or forgotten, is our Confidence that God can actually DO this NEW thing that He has told us He wants to do AND has even already started doing! Half the time I miss the fact that He’s already started the new thing, until the new thing is just about in my face or it probably flew right over my head and I’m just chasing after it trying to catch up.
This walk with God requires us to walk WITH Him. So He will take measures to keep us in stride with Him. This is where boosting confidence comes in. I had been really waning on this point. You Pray, Believe, Hope, Wait, Pray some more, Doubt because nothing seems to be happening, and then confidence slips away. Well meaning family members start to question your judgement and confidence slips a little further down the lane. Rejection letters start coming in or no correspondence at all, which, to the world is also a rejection by default and confidence is now at an all time low, cant get any lower right? Then you start worrying, savings is now depleted, family is definitely looking at you sideways now and therefore “encouraging” you to consider other options. Whether these persons are also on this Faith Walk with Christ or not is another matter entirely and you’re purely just trying to stay afloat and not drown.
Then, in between your inward and silent sobbing, a still small whisper reminds you,
1 The Lord who created you says,“Do not be afraid—I will save you.I have called you by name—you are mine.2 When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you;your troubles will not overwhelm you.When you pass through fire, you will not be burned;the hard trials that come will not hurt you.3 For I am the Lord your God,the Holy God of Israel, who saves you.” Isaiah 43 (GNT)